Great pains
I've gone to
Gang slang
I've gone to
Lame brain
Looking for gold I
I have become someone else
Outside
Stepping to inside
Stepping to my side
Stepping I wade through shit
He's a loser
He's a loser, she said
He's a loser
He's a loser, she said
I am mine
I am mine
I am mine
I am mine
I am mine
I can't become someone else
He's a loser
He's a loser, she said
He's a loser
He's a loser, she said


Vincent is paying me a visit again. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder with inheritent traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I hate myself, but unlike Nacissism, I don't take it out on others. I take it out on myself. This results in huge feelings of worthlessness, the need to destroy (myself), and failure to accept love. It happens especially when I feel that someone cares too much for me - I am not worthy of their compassion. It's better now than four years ago, but Taryn has such genuine feelings for me, and I regret the fact that she fell in love with me - Because I firmly believe that I will disappoing her, hurt her and ultimately destroy her heart. Vincent is the name I have given to the "creature" that hurts me on the inside.

I'm sorry that I'm hurting you Taryn. I'm even more sorry that you don't know it yet.


A dark room is my world
Life no longer turns me on
Forget my friends
That already forgot me
Love me,
Dig me,
Cause I hate myself
The needle in, the brain out,
Don't know what I'm doing
The needle is a bullet in my head
Love me,
Dig me,
Cause I hate myself
Fucked up looks good, feels good, happy?
With yourself now you got no attention
Don't take part, demanding more
You're predictable and fucking boring
Two faces one for me and one for you, happy?
Same mistakes over and over
Getting away with it
I can't get over that
Getting away with it
A dark room is my world
Life no longer turns me on
Forget my friends
That already forgot me
Love me,
Dig me,
Cause I hate myself
Cause I hate myself
Cause I hate myself
Cause I hate myself
Cause I hate myself