Last night, I selected a few songs on the PC, cranked the Hi-Fi up, and got into bed for a while.
The songs included Nailbomb's "Sick Life", Strapping Young Lad's "Aftermath" and Type O Negative's "Love you to Death".
The latter was merely for the fact that I misheard "Am I good enough for you" as "I'm not good enough for you".
When I awoke at around 9 pm, I felt much better, but very guilty for the way I treated everyone in my mind, accusing them of misleading me with messages of love when all they had was hate. That's how I hurt myself, by telling myself that everyone else is telling me lies, poking fun at me. I never tell them about it though. Funny, this "attack" wasn't remotely as severe as some of the ones I had before I seemingly got rid of it a few years ago. It did drag on for two days, but it wasn't very intense in comparison. The thought of Taryn lingering in my mind had an influence on this, surely. I had a chat with my sister, Lelané, and sent Taryn a few SMS messages. She truly is incredible.
Reached a few webpages that were related to her "Best Socialwork Student of 2002" award. There are three photo's on there of her. Feeling proud of her, and also a little stupid. I've never had the opportunity to study at university, apart from the "university of life", and lots of experience.
Felt like fooling around, sent her a message asking her about her new boyfriend. The resulting SMS was incredible. I'm still wondering about how sincere she is though. I shouldn't doubt her, it's not fair at all, she's been nothing but good to me up till now.
We discussed a few things about sex on Sunday, she was concerned about my previous partners and so forth. I know that a woman of 27 will have slept with quite a few men in her lifetime. As long as she doesn't have all sorts of deseases, it's okay by me. I'm not a virgin myself either, so why should it bother me? I'm not too sure, she probed very discreetly, but it was obvious that she was wondering. She also wanted me to know that, even though size does matter, it's the intimacy. Dunno, maybe she feels that I'm insecure about my winkie. Am not, it's not a monster and not a mouse, it's just okay.
So.
Woah, intensive stuff.
uKrease wants someone to write a song with him, did offer my "services". I need to work with another artist on some music, apart from Module 69 - It broadens your perspective as well as your respect. If others hear about you in more than one place, the name spreads around. I want to be a recognized artist with all my heart, it's what I live for.
It's my birthday in 20 days. I have no idea what to do with myself. What does one do for a 25th birthday? Drink untill the room spins? Have sex with strangers? Kick canadian babies through windows? I don't know. I am contemplating handing myself over to a group of friends for that day, to see what they could conjure up. That does sound like a grand plan. No driving, no work, no nothing. Just give in.
I'm enjoying the debate of accountants: These guys are gonna get into one anothers faces real soon. Pretty heated and intense! Glad I'm the only IT guy, noone disputes my opinion, because noone know anything about the IT world but me. Great!
Missing my sweetheart so terribly.
Band practice tonight. Very happy about it.
Fired the Sheep also. He's upset with me, I think. It's for the best interest of the band.
Random thought of the Day : If you want to eat the fruit, you have to plant the tree first.
